It has been WAY too long since I have posted to this blog! Too often we let life and all the happenings get in the way of things we enjoy or are therapeutic....I am going to try and fix that, at least for myself! Writing is very therapeutic for me so I am going to try to make it priority once again. I hope there will be some posts that you find helpful, funny, or just make you nod your head in agreement.
Lately, I have been totally overwhelmed. Yep, I am going to keep this real folks! Too many times we all post all the puppies and rainbows on our blogs or Facebook pages and goodness knows, we are all dealing with something, so why not be real. Share our triumphs, our good times, our happy occasions, but also share the troubles, trials and failures too. It is too easy to look at social media and compare our upside down, chaotic lives with all the fluffy, unicorn sprinkle posts and feel even worse about our lives. So that being said, I will be posting what is really going on here at the farm...the good, the bad and the ugly.
I recently have been so busy trying to do it all. Keep the house, take care of all the animals, tend to the garden, help my farmer man with putting up pasture fence, run the errands, etc. and I found myself feeling very alone. That has gotten me thinking....I know, uh oh.
We have chosen this homestead life and I am grateful that we have the freedom to make that choice. Most days I love working on the farm! I love spending time with each of our animals and learning about them. I love working in the garden and seeing our work grow into fresh fruits and veggies. I love mowing grass and making our place look nice and neat. I love working side by side with my farmer man.
But....
Some days I miss seeing other people. I need people. The sheep are awesome listeners, but they lack valuable input.
It got me thinking about when the settlers were spreading out across this great land. How lonely those women must have been! There often wasn't another homestead for miles and miles. Travel was difficult and so much hard, back breaking work had to be completed daily just to survive. If they were lucky, there was town within a few hours buggy ride and they got to go "into town" once a month or so.
So how is it with modern conveniences like cars, phones, internet, social media, etc. can we be feeling isolated and disconnected? I think some of these "conveniences" are the problem.. We used to talk to each other. Phone calls were a regular thing. We used to go visit more. Weekends were for visiting family and friends. Friends would come by and "sit a spell" in the evenings of summer. Neighbors actually knew each other, chatted often and visited frequently.
Instead, we are "satisfied" with a quick message on messenger or text. We check Facebook to see what our friends and family are doing and learn more from social media than we do from the real people behind the keyboard. It has become to easy to disconnect...and I think relationships and the art of conversation are suffering. I watched a piece about how employers are disappointed in this generation because when they do interviews the applicant does not look them in the eye. We are loosing the art of conversation without an electronic device between us.
I try to get away from the farm at least once a week. Usually it is to run errands and get feed and groceries, but I also try to meet up with my best friend for some girl time. I.NEED.GIRL.TIME! I realize that I need to sit and spend sometime with a female friend. I need that interaction. When I do not take that time I, and everyone I love suffers for it.
Ladies, we NEED each other! We need to spend time with each other....actual time, face to face. We need that security with that special friend that you can be open and honest with and be free of judgment. We need that interaction with a female friend that can understand how we think and just listen. We NEED each other.
I have found those weeks when I am just "too busy" to take time to meet up with a friend and just catch up, I struggle. I struggle with all the things I "think" I have to get done that week, I struggle with my relationship with my farmer man, I struggle with my own thoughts and I struggle feeling overwhelmed in general.
I can also admit that when we homeschooled it was jut as difficult if not more so. Trying to do everything you can to ensure your child(ren) have the best education, learn what they need to learn, etc. on top of all the homesteading stresses can be very overwhelming.
So, what is the answer?
For me, when we homeschooled, it was co-op classes. Yes, it was more work, and time away from the homestead, BUT it was a much needed break in the daily routine for my son and I both. We have very fond memories and forged lasting friendships because of those co-op classes. So I encourage anyone who is homeschooling their children, find a support group. Find a local group of fellow homeschoolers and jump in! The relationships you could make will change how you homeschool, how you feel on a daily basis and give you a network of like minded people that will be so valuable.
Now that I am retired from homeschooling it is actually a little more difficult for me to make plans to be away from the farm. When homeschooling, you do what is best for your child(ren). I need to remember that I am in the phase of my life that it is my turn. I CAN make choices to do what is best for me and not feel like I have to justify why I am not working at the farm. Putting my mental health as one of my priorities is ok!
I am pledging today, to make it a point, at least once a week, get off the farm and go visit with a female friend or invite a female friend over for a visit. It doesn't have to be a half a day or all day thing. Just an hour or so, but at least once a week.
Don't worry about inviting a friend over and your home being spotless. Be real! Your home being spotless is not what matters..... I am preaching to myself big time with this one. What matters is continuing to cherish friendships, grow new friendships and just be supportive of each other.
If you are working in the garden and have a friend who doesn't mind helping harvest or pull weeds, invite her over! If you are preserving your harvest and have a friend who wants to learn or would just be good company while you work, invite her over! If you have a new recipe you want to try, ask her if she minds being a guinea pig and invite her over! If you have to run errands and just want a ride along, invite her along! If you know of a new mother, offer to watch her child so she can take a peaceful shower while you get to snuggle that new baby and visit afterwards! If you have a friend who works off the farm, offer to meet her for lunch!
She might just be feeling the same way you are and be wishing someone would invite her for a visit and be in need of a break as well. Remember....to have a friend you have to be a friend.
I challenge each one of you ladies, let me rephrase that, I give you each permission and encouragement, to make your friendships a priority. Make your mental health a priority. Make YOU a priority. You matter. You make a difference everyday in the lives of those you love so why not be the best you you can be. It is not selfish to take time for yourself. You are important and you are loved! <3
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